This is part four of an ongoing series on the blog. Make sure to check out Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
9) The Underwear Shot- Underwear is the new outerwear. There have been lots of pictures posted on social networking sites of people in their underwear. Often paired with the “mirror shot”, the “underwear shot” loves to show off what once was considered sacred. The underwear of choice is often the boy cut underwear, whether on a boy or a girl. Girls may even choose to show off their latest Victoria’s Secret purchase, or guys may unveil the boxer briefs (and abs). It’s a new twist to the saying…make sure you’re wearing clean underwear…just in case someone sees your picture on Facebook or MySpace.
10) The Bits Showoff (a.k.a. “The Cleavage Shot)- One of the most popular shots of the Facebook and MySpace whores is the Cleavage Shot. Starting about as early as they develop, girls are posting more and more pics that reveal part of their breasts. Typically a self shooter, these girls seem to feel as if they must put one arm above their head and take a picture at a downward angle. Of course, this shot must also include a tank top, a loose fitting shirt, or simply a bra (because the bra wasn’t revealing enough). The most ambitious of the Bits Showoff skanks also love to notify their friends that they have new pictures and that they REALLY want you to offer them some “comment love,” although “comment lust” would be more grammatically correct. Fortunately, guys have not personally embraced this trend as much, despite the fact that a lot of them are developing large breasts while spending so much time with video games and the internet.
Just to let you know, this will not be the last you see of the “Facebook/Myspace whore” series. I have at least a few more blogs in the works in regards to it, so make sure you check back often!
This is part of an ongoing series on the blog. Make sure to check out Part One and Part Two.
7) The Katy Perry Shot (aka The “I kissed a girl and I like it” shot”)- There is this phenomenon that is ever increasing in popularity amongst younger people. It is the tendency to post a picture of a girl kissing another girl. Spurred on by a society that encourages youth to explore the “bi-curious,” the pattern usually starts out with an “innocent” picture of a girl kissing a girl on the cheek. It then progresses to the make out picture (once again, often paired with a Solo cup in hand), or even the “kiss the cleavage” shot. What’s interesting to note is that you really don’t see guys kissing other guys, because “that’s just gay.” One final note, this is occasionally accompanied with the “Boob Grab Shot.”
The “I’m in a bikini, so I have to pose seductively” Shot- Buying a bathing suit that is skimpy and doesn’t leave much to the imagination? $80. Positioning your body to reveal as much as possible without being totally naked for the camera? $5 to put batteries in the camera. Posting slutty pictures online of your bikini, softcore porn self that will haunt you for the rest of your life? Priceless. There are some things that money can’t buy…like innocence, purity, and respect for yourself. For everything else there’s MySpace.
Check back tomorrow for the final two on the list! You can leave comments below by clicking on “comments.”
Continuing this post from yesterday:
4) The Boob Grab Shot- A lot of girls apparently see nothing wrong with having a picture of someone grabbing their boobs being posted online. Sometimes it is a picture of them grabbing their own boobs, while other times it is a girl or a guy grabbing them. When the latter happens they usually have a (fake) look of shock or embarrassment on their face. It seems that everyone in the picture has a cup in their hands, whether it be a bra cup or a red or blue plastic cup(Although a bottle of alcohol is sometimes substituted for the red or blue plastic cups). As one final note, guys may have pictures grabbing their own boobs or chest. This is a sure sign that you’re an idiot and you will never get a date.
5) The Tanline Shot- It is not unusual in our culture to want to have a tan. What is odd (and a definite sign that you are a Facebook/Myspace whore) is when you want to show off both your tan and the areas that are still cracker white. The most common skanky “tanline shots” on Facebook are the “pull my bikini bottoms down to show off my tanline” shot, the “slide part of my top over to tease people” shot, or the ever popular, “I have a playboy bunny from the tanning bed” shot. ‘Cuz nothing says “classy” quite like Playboy.
6) The Status Update or Mood Ho- Status Updates are definitely intriguing. You can let people know what you’re up to and how you’re feeling at any moment of the day. However, the Status Update Ho and Mood Ho feel as if they have to share T-M-I. The Status Update Ho can be found on both Facebook and MySpace. We can learn about how they are “getting drunk,” “feeling lucky,” and so on. The “Mood Ho” is typically on MySpace, where they can let us know how they’re feeling. I have seen numerous teens let the world know that they are “feeling horny” at a given moment. Word of advice….You better be careful flaunting that you’re “feeling horny” because you may end up feeling used, itchy, or pregnant (or all the above).
Okay…I have had hundreds of hits for these posts and only two comments. Have you experienced these things online? Leave a comment by clicking “comments” below.”
WARNING- This series of blog posts may be offensive to some readers. For some, you may need to wake up and smell the coffee. For others, you fit one of the signs mentioned below. Just as a reminder, you posted it online for the whole world to see…remember that next time before you post something online.
I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past few years. Teenagers (and adults alike) have used a social networking site like Facebook or Myspace to post images and comments that are incredibly inappropriate. What’s crazy is that they see absolutely nothing wrong with it and don’t realize that it reveals the true character of the person. It’s a new breed of skank.
Based on actual pictures and such from people that I actually know, I’ve come up with “Ten Signs that You’re a Facebook Whore.” So without further ado…here are the first few:
1) The Slutty Mirror Shot- This is probably the most famous of the skanky pics. For some reason, people love to take a picture of themselves in the mirror. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that part. However, for some other strange reason, they often feel as if they must be scantily clothed or seductive in the process. Many also love to show off their curves by doing a side profile picture or a “wearing nothing but a towel” picture. The most common mirrors of choice are the bathroom mirror or the full length mirror in the bedroom.
2) The “Look at my Abs” Shot- Guys and girls love to show off their stomach. Guys love to show them off and make sure that the top 1/3 of their boxers or briefs are showing, while girls typically fold over their waistband of their shorts as they lift their shirt up (Because you obviously can’t show off your abs without showing off your legs or the bottom of your bra at the same time). It must be noted, that girls that are unbelievably tiny or fit also have to add the caption “I’m so fat” to the picture, so that people will respond with comments to their picture. Most often, this is also a slutty mirror shot.
3) The Comment Hussy- As mentioned above, people oftentimes leave comments in response to the pictures. Guys lead the charge in this role, because they love to tell a girl how fine they are, how much they would love to “hook up wit u,” or how they would like to “tap that.” Girls aren’t immune to leaving the comments, and often leave flirty or suggestive comments to their friends. It’s also interesting to see how many ways “sexy” can be spelled.
Check back for part two tomorrow! As always, feel free to leave comments below by clicking on the word “comments.”
Apparently, I have arrived. In the past week or so, I have had TWO different people refer to me as “Brother Josh.” I don’t know what I did to garner the recognition, but I must have finally made it to the magical threshold of respect that causes someone to call me “brother.”
Now…let’s be clear, there are many different uses of “brother,” some of which I had received plenty of times before. For instance, some use it as a way of expressing a greeting between friends (e.g. “What’s up my brother?). Quite often, it’s used in church as a kind of shorthand for “brothers in Christ.” But the way it was used in the past couple of weeks was different. Let me explain.
I once served at a church where I was reprimanded for not referring to the pastor as “Brother Hezekiah” (Names have been changed to protect those in question). I simply referred to him by his first name while speaking which OBVIOUSLY meant that I didn’t respect him. When I asked if that meant that I should be called “Brother Josh” they told me “No…that’s different.” Hmmm.
So…I must have made it to the this new level of Brotherdom. I’ve arrived to a certain level of ministerial respect. I don’t think I did anything in particular Maybe it’s just that I am coming close to creeping out of my twenties and losing some hair. That obviously means I’m getting wiser.
Now if only I could take the next step and move up to a cooler title like “Bishop Brickey,” “The Right Reverend Josh,” or maybe even “Pope Joshua I.” Maybe I can get one of those cool cars, too.
So what are we to do when people complain that the church isn’t feeding them enough? Besides making sure that they aren’t still breastfeeding from the church (see part one here), we need to remind them to check their fruit.
Scripture tells us multiple times that we can determine the extent of one’s growth by the kind of “fruit” they’re producing. For instance, Matthew 7 says that true believers will be recognized by their fruit and that many people that claim to be followers don’t really know God. If you really break it down, many “Christians” in our country don’t have any evidence of fruit. I can’t help but think that a majority of them don’t really know God at all. I don’t see a lot of Christians that can be described as full of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Those are the “fruits” of following God, in case you’re wondering).
Why all this talk of fruit? People who complain about not being fed enough need to be concerned more about whether they are producing fruit rather than if they are getting enought meat. Let’s stop griping about how much we’re fed and start applying what we’ve already learned. It would be awesome to see people who are more concerned with meeting the needs of others than meeting their own selfish desires.
Throughout the years, I have heard lots of Christians complain that they need to be “fed more” at the church or that the church isn’t “deep enough” and needs “more meat.” They often hop from church to church or they stick around, moaning and…you know what… about the church. What are we to say to people like this? What are we to do if that person is us? I think that whenever we’re tempted to think this way, we have to realize two things:
1) If you’re still breastfeeding from the church, and you have been a Christian for a while, you have a major problem. Here’s what I mean. Before Isaiah was born, Patty decided that she wanted to breastfeed him rather than relying on baby formula. Heck…when he was born, the first time I saw his name on something was a label in the nursery at the hospital that said “I am a breasted boy!” However, as more time has passed, Patty has begun weening him away from breastfeeding and he is starting to eat baby food and soft foods. Obviously, he will eventually get to the point where he can eat on his own and will be able to feed himself.
A lot of Christians today are still breastfeeding from the church. They have this erroneous notion that the Church exists primarily to feed you. They feel they are not growing because the Church isn’t going “deep enough.” Hear this plainly: you have to feed yourself! The Church’s job is not all about feeding you. It’s about teaching you how to feed yourself! You have to take responsibility for your own walk and develop the discipline and skills to grow closer to God on your own. Don’t get me wrong, the Church should pick up the tab for a meal on Sunday. But if that’s the only food you’re getting, you’re going to die.
I’m so thankful that 99.99% of adults do not breastfeed from their mother. Not would it be unbelievably awkward (and probably earn you a spot on Dr. Phil), it wouldn’t be healthy and you would find yourself malnourished later in life. Are you feeding yourself or relying on someone else?
Part Two on Monday!
